Yo Ho Yo Ho
by Nikki Flinn
Summary: you know the the song, think hard, you'll love it Ginny is wandering the halls and runs into a drunk Snape and Lupin, What's a girl to do? Especially when they think you're Harry? Slight DG Finished
1. Getting Drunk

Remus Lupin was drunk. This was perhaps the only reason he hadn't killed Professor Snape. The potions teacher sat beside him, well on his way to Lupin's state of inebriation. Niether man liked the other. But right now both were at a point in which niether cared.

After a few more drinks, during which Snape matched Lupin's alchohol intake and nearly doubled it, they decided to talk. Under normal circumstances Lupin would be mentally cackling at rememberences of past tricks played on Snape by the Mauraders. As it was, Lupin had lost the ability to control both his toungue and not find things humorous. So Snape learned that siad partner was responsible for the majority of the tricks. Being as drunk as the lycanthrope was, he too found this very amusing. Lupin learned of all of Snape's rather ingenious ricks done on all of them.

A few more drinks later, the two decided to become the three Amigos!

Lupin, drunk, took a few minutes to realize that-

"Hey Snape, how can we be the three Amogians-"

"Amigos" Snape corrected

"Whatever, when there are only-" he did a head count "-two of us?"

Snape paused to think of a suitable thrid terror wrecker. "Potter!"

Ginny brushed back her scarlet hair and looked around. Glad that there was no one there, she stepped out of the portrait hole and came face to face with two very drunk, grinning professors.

"Um," she began but professor Snape quieted her.

"Silence, Potter, we need your help."

For a moment Ginny stared at them. _What the Hell? _ she thought. _Do they think I'm Harry?_

Apparently they did. Snape went off on a tirade about how they were to be the Three Musketeers or something and they need her (Well Harry's really) help. Ginny realized she could get into all sorts of trouble if she went with them. She might even get expelled.

Then she thought about Ron, always telling her it was too dangerous, she needed to stay behind. He had eased up a little when everyone found out about Riddle. Then he had spent the entire summer and most of the past few years, glaring at any boy but Neville who dared look at her.

Ginny looked up at her two grinning professors and said. "What do you need me to do?"

Apparently niether in thier inebriated state, had thought past getting her help. As the two professors conversed, Ginny began to hum the song _Yo, Ho! A pirate's Life for Me! _ She'd been on her way to visit Luna Lovegood, who was an avid Disney fan and had lent her the sound track to _Pirates of the Carribean. _

Ginny broke off in the thrid verse when she noticed both teachers were looking as though they had just had gotten the best idea in the world.

"Harry," Lupin began (They still think she's Harry remember?) "Do tell us how the lyrics to that song go."

Ginny opened her mouth but suddenly stopped. The song was basically a list of bad things to do.

"Um, No, I don't think I should."

Both men looked crestfallen. "Why not?" Snape whined. Up until that moment Ginny had been running on pure bravado. Snape was an evil Death Eater who delighted in taking points from Gryffindor. Ginny was a prefect and even though she was such, Snape still intimidated her. But Snape, Severus Snape, terror of all classes and evil extrodinare, had just whined. Like some little kid.

"Well," Ginny drew herself up to her full hieght, a little taller than both men. Niether remembered that Harry was shorter than all of them. "I am a prefect. As a prefect I can't allow such behavior." Luckily again they forgot that Harry wasn't a prefect.

"Please?" Snape whined again in a wheedling tone.

Ginny sighed.

"Fine."

In truth she reveled in the chance to get an adventure.

"Great!" Lupin said, rubbing his hands together. "What's the first verse?"

_"Yo Ho yo ho a pirate's life for me_

_We pillage we plunder we rifle and loot_

_drink up me heaties yo ho_

_We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot_

_drink up me hearties yo ho"_

"Perfect," Snape said rubbing his hands togther in child like glee. "What does Pillage mean?"


	2. Piliage

Pillage

Ginny stared at her professor and wondered just how much they'd had to drink. She had an erie feeling that she might have to tell them what every word in the song meant.

She sighed and summoned a dictionary. She flipped it open as the professors applauded her cool use of logic.

"Pillage," she read, "means to take booty." She looked up triumphantly at thier confused faces. G_reat, just great_ she thought, realizing niether man knew what booty was.

"Booty means treasure."

Snape had a look on his face that spelled out danger. "Well well well. What can we 'pillage'?"

Lupin grinned. "I know where Dumbledore keeps his lemon drops."

_Jeez, they're like some kids._Ginny thought before saying. "Well I guess I should get to-"

"Oh no you don't Potter." Snape said grabbing Ginny's shirt."We nees you to help us."

And so Ginny found herself standing outside Dumbledore's office with a giggling Snape and Lupin. A little inner voice kept saying _Well you wanted an adventure_. Ginny told the voice to shove it.

Ginny was supposed to go in. Something about her being the smallest. If it hadn't been for the fact that niether realized she was a girl, she would have called it sexism.

Lupin had told her about twenty times where to find the lemon drops. He had even offered to draw her a map, which she declined.

Ginny sighed quietly and went in. she carefully avoided touching anything. She had just gotten the candies when the light came on and a voice said, "Up a little late are we, Miss Weasley?"

Ginny winced and turned around to face the beaming head master. "Professor, I-"

"Can explain. I know. But isn't life fun when you don't know something. I suppose though that you should know that I know about my Professor's earlier excursions. I should rather enjoy in fact if you would give me a detailed description of it tommorrow during tea."

"You mean, I'm not in trouble?" Ginny asked, bewildered.

"Severus so rarely gets to enjoy life or anything. I'd rather forgotten he could laugh."

(A/N: Sorry this took so long. I had it on my old computer so I didn't get to work on it much.)


	3. plunder? nah Ravage!

Plunder... nah, Ravage!

Ginny came out of the room feeling weird. Dumbledore was unlike any teacher she had ever had. she shook her head and turned to face the two professors.

"Did he see you?" Snape whispered breathelessly.

Ginny shook her head and handed them the lemon drops.

"Alright!" both men all but yelled, doing a high five.

"So Harry, what's next?" Lupin asked after several more blotched attempts at hand shakes or something.

Ginny sighed and pulled out her dictionary. She looked up the next word and read, "plunder, something taken by force, theft."

"Well," Ginny, despite her better judgement had gotten caught in the game. "First we should have a place to secure out loot."

After explaining what loot was, both men agreed. They then suggested the wardrobe in the teacher's room. After stashing their lemon drops in said wardrobe, they proceeded to ponder thier next move.

"How 'bout a book from the restricted section?" Ginny suggested.

The two men suddenly got deciedly evil gleams in thier eyes. Ginny decided she didn't want to know.

"You know, I need my sleep, match tommorrow against Slytherin and everything."

Snape chose this moment to remember something. "You already beat us Potter."

"Crap." she muttered.

"You get to ravage-"

"Wait! Ravage? Aren't we skipping a couple verbs in there?"

Snape looked confused. "Like what?"

"The song goes

We pillage we plunder we rifle and loot

We kidnap and ravage-"

"Excellent point Potter!" Snape conceeded.

"Wait right here while we kidnapp someone for you to ravage."

Ginny stared at the door as it closed. They truly were off thier rockers. A few moments later the two Professors returned dragging a blonde boy.

"Look Potter, we got Luna Lovegood for you!" Snape sang.

Ginny looked at her professor as though he was insane. The blonde boy followed suit. Ginny looked away from her teacher to study the boy. She mentally groaned. It was Draco Malfoy. Those stupid gits had gotten her the most evil, albeit hottest, guy in the school.

Malfoy caught her looking and returned the favor. He gave Ginny a cool, calculated once over. Ginny, for her part, managed not to blush.

Ginny turned to her professors, attempting once again to talk the inebriated men into sanity. "Look, I can't ravage him... er, her. I'll get expelled."

"But, Potter," Snape whined again. "The Bus of love demands it."

Ginny knew she would regret it but asked, "What is the Bus of Love?"


	4. Bus of LOOOVE

Bus of LOOOOOVE!

Lupin and Snape grinned and began singing in off key and unharmonious tones.

"YOU GOTTA WATCH OUT FOR THE BUS OF LOVE!

IT LOVES YOU AND ME!

YOU AND MEEEEE!"

Ginny looked at Malfoy again. "I'll distract them. save yourself."

He smirked. "Appealing as that may be, I'd rather like to see the end of this escapade. And why do they think you're Harry?"

Ginny sighed and explained the teacher's current states of inebriation. Draco grinned. "So they think I'm Luna?"

Ginny sighed again and nodded.

By this time the professors had finished thier song and were not so subtlely drifting the two together. (They had in fact picked up Ginny and were moving her closer while holding Draco.) Ginny sighed. This night could not get any worse. She looked at Malfoy. He still appeared a bit shellshocked that he was going to be forced to kiss a girl, or maybe just that Ginny wasn't snogging him already.

Finally, more to stop the two professors, who were singing off key again, this time 'Kiss the Girl', Ginny leaned in and planted her lips on her brother's enemy's lips. Draco was shocked for a moment but quickly recovered, deepening the kiss.

"YOU JUST GOT HIT BY THE BUS OF LOOOOVE!

YOU JUST GOT HIT BY THE BUS OF LOOOVE!"

Ginny broke the kiss, a blush creeping up her cheeks. She looked at the two professors, even as Snape toppled onto Lupin in a dead faint and Lupin kept singing. Ginny looked at Malfoy, who shrugged. The two left the room.

The next day, Ginny snickered as Professor Snape entered, looking beraggled. She caught Dumbledore's eye and they shared a secret smile. Ginny also caught Draco's eye and a moment later an owl landed at her place. She took off the two letters. One was from Professor Snape, instructing her to come to the dungeon's after dinner for the potions lessons she had requested last year. She smiled, amazing what guilt could do. The other was from Draco. There was no signature, but she knew.

"_My Lord, What fools these Mortals be."_

GInny put away the letter. This year was shaping up pretty nicely.


End file.
